My definition of Douche Bag:
Someone who would rather stay home and watch TV, then come over to watch a stupid scary movie with a hot chick.
Yeah, I invited RS over last night to watch Prom Night with L, R, and myself. What was his response? "Well, the season finale of 24 is on tonight!" I said record it! He told me he would see, and then I never heard back from him. Total douche bag. I mean I get that this is a huge show and it’s supposed to be excellent, but STILL! You have a DVR so use it!
So, I’ve decided he’s off my interest list. I don’t know what his deal is, but I’m not going to be the one chasing him. It was like that when we were talking before too, and I won’t do it this time. Plus, B is probably WAY better for me anyway!
Happy Tuesday! Can’t wait for the 3 day weekend! YES!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
And the boys go around and around
So, update update update:
It’s been a long time since my last post! 18 days to be exact.
So where to start…. Let’s start with R. He’s out of the picture! I know, I know… SHOCKER!
But listen to this…..
R for RETARD!
R and I had actually been talking for about 3 1/2 weeks. Things were going OK but he was kind of a douche bag sometimes. We were talking last week and he said something about a girl that he knows. This girl was leaving her husband and going to move to AZ. I don’t know the whole story but from what I gathered they were going to “hang out” when she got here. So he launches into this story about this girl. He says that he just found out that she’s got 2 boyfriends and she’s still married and that he can’t believe she’s being such a slut. I said well, I think you are being a little judgmental about this! She’s getting divorce and she’s having fun. Who cares how many guys she’s doing? She’s not your girlfriend is she? So, he gets Mad (with a capital M you’ll notice) and says that I must be in a bad mood and that he’s going to let me go. I told him I wasn’t in a bad mood; I was just voicing my opinion. He insists that I’m just in a bad mood and that he’s going to go. I say that’s fine and we hang up. Well about 5 minutes later I get a text from him saying that it’s too hard to be my friend and that we should probably take a nice long break from each other. I respond with (after a little conference with L): OK. How about forever? No response from him after that but he did remove me from his MySpace and Facebook!!! LOL! Talk about touchy! He was being a judgmental jerk and I called him on it and I’m the asshole??? WTF ever.
So, I’m totally OK with not talking to THAT guy anymore. He didn’t have a job, didn’t have a car, was staying in his friends one bedroom apartment, sleeping on the couch and had all of his clothes at someone else’s house! He had valid excuses for all of these negative points, so I over looked most of it, but being a selfish ass is not something I can over look. Stupid.
B is for bewilderingly elusive
B and I have GREAT chemistry. He’s cute, funny, nice, friendly, and chill. We have a great time in the bedroom even. I just don’t know about him. He’s short, which for me is a major issue. I have a hard time dating a guy that’s shorter then I am when I have no shoes on. I know that this is a stupid superficial issue, but I just can’t handle it. I feel like Chandler from Friends. Always obsessing over something that really shouldn’t matter.
He’s kind of uncommunicative too. I get not texting or calling at work. Most people have jobs that actually require them to do things during the day, unlike myself. He has 2 kids that are very young, so I get being busy at home. I just don’t get not texting me at all.
I don’t really know where he is at in his relationship life either though. I’m not looking for marriage, that’s for sure, shit I don’t even know if I’m looking for a boyfriend! I am looking for someone to hangout with more often then on a Friday night when I’m getting shitfaced.
Then there’s the drama. He was married and was in the process of getting a divorce when his wife passed away. She passed away pretty recently too, so I don’t know what his mindset is and I think it’s too early to talk about that kind of thing. So I’m just going with the flow and letting him take the lead.
RS is for really stupid me
There is a new R in the harem of T. We will call him RS and he’s not really new. Just new to this blog and all of you.
*SIGH* I have what I like to call “The bad boy syndrome”. The BBS is when a girl likes a guy she knows she shouldn’t, for various reasons, but she just can’t friggin help herself. This is what it's like for me with RS.
For a little background; I met RS right after I left my husband. We hit it off right away and had a little fun. Problem was that he was seeing someone at the time. So we talked off and on for a little bit and things got serious with the gf and we lost touch. Well, guess who’s back now that there’s no girlfriend in the picture? Yup. RS. Well, guess who’s STUPID enough to let him back into the picture with very minimal concern? Yup. ME.
I don’t know what it is about this guy but I’m irrevocably attracted to him. When he first started coming back around I was telling myself that there was no way I was going to get involved with him again and that it was over and done with and yada yada yada…. And then he came over and hung out one night and that was that for me. *SIGH* AGAIN!
We’ve been talking off and on and I have been pretty good about not texting him and letting him be the one to text me, and I’m totally proud of that. I’m usually not like that.
He’s sort of a game player too. Nothing huge but just enough that it’s noticeable and irritating. I suppose it has something to do with the level of comfort boys feel when they first start talking to someone. I don’t know though. I just know that I may be headed for Trouble (also, capital T!) here.
I’ll just have to play this one by ear as well, but I can’t help feeling like I’m setting myself up for a huge fall.
And just a short note to wrap up… I have been thinking about how amazing it is that all the boys that I have met have in some way or another been interested in me. I really didn’t think that was going to be the way of it. I figured that I’d have at least one or two that wouldn’t like what I looked like, or the way I had my hair, or whatever, and wouldn’t be interested at all. I’m wondering what this says 1. about me and 2. about boys in general. Are they desperate, or I am just that fabulous? Hmmmm….. Something to think about… OR NOT! LOL
L8tr!
It’s been a long time since my last post! 18 days to be exact.
So where to start…. Let’s start with R. He’s out of the picture! I know, I know… SHOCKER!
But listen to this…..
R for RETARD!
R and I had actually been talking for about 3 1/2 weeks. Things were going OK but he was kind of a douche bag sometimes. We were talking last week and he said something about a girl that he knows. This girl was leaving her husband and going to move to AZ. I don’t know the whole story but from what I gathered they were going to “hang out” when she got here. So he launches into this story about this girl. He says that he just found out that she’s got 2 boyfriends and she’s still married and that he can’t believe she’s being such a slut. I said well, I think you are being a little judgmental about this! She’s getting divorce and she’s having fun. Who cares how many guys she’s doing? She’s not your girlfriend is she? So, he gets Mad (with a capital M you’ll notice) and says that I must be in a bad mood and that he’s going to let me go. I told him I wasn’t in a bad mood; I was just voicing my opinion. He insists that I’m just in a bad mood and that he’s going to go. I say that’s fine and we hang up. Well about 5 minutes later I get a text from him saying that it’s too hard to be my friend and that we should probably take a nice long break from each other. I respond with (after a little conference with L): OK. How about forever? No response from him after that but he did remove me from his MySpace and Facebook!!! LOL! Talk about touchy! He was being a judgmental jerk and I called him on it and I’m the asshole??? WTF ever.
So, I’m totally OK with not talking to THAT guy anymore. He didn’t have a job, didn’t have a car, was staying in his friends one bedroom apartment, sleeping on the couch and had all of his clothes at someone else’s house! He had valid excuses for all of these negative points, so I over looked most of it, but being a selfish ass is not something I can over look. Stupid.
B is for bewilderingly elusive
B and I have GREAT chemistry. He’s cute, funny, nice, friendly, and chill. We have a great time in the bedroom even. I just don’t know about him. He’s short, which for me is a major issue. I have a hard time dating a guy that’s shorter then I am when I have no shoes on. I know that this is a stupid superficial issue, but I just can’t handle it. I feel like Chandler from Friends. Always obsessing over something that really shouldn’t matter.
He’s kind of uncommunicative too. I get not texting or calling at work. Most people have jobs that actually require them to do things during the day, unlike myself. He has 2 kids that are very young, so I get being busy at home. I just don’t get not texting me at all.
I don’t really know where he is at in his relationship life either though. I’m not looking for marriage, that’s for sure, shit I don’t even know if I’m looking for a boyfriend! I am looking for someone to hangout with more often then on a Friday night when I’m getting shitfaced.
Then there’s the drama. He was married and was in the process of getting a divorce when his wife passed away. She passed away pretty recently too, so I don’t know what his mindset is and I think it’s too early to talk about that kind of thing. So I’m just going with the flow and letting him take the lead.
RS is for really stupid me
There is a new R in the harem of T. We will call him RS and he’s not really new. Just new to this blog and all of you.
*SIGH* I have what I like to call “The bad boy syndrome”. The BBS is when a girl likes a guy she knows she shouldn’t, for various reasons, but she just can’t friggin help herself. This is what it's like for me with RS.
For a little background; I met RS right after I left my husband. We hit it off right away and had a little fun. Problem was that he was seeing someone at the time. So we talked off and on for a little bit and things got serious with the gf and we lost touch. Well, guess who’s back now that there’s no girlfriend in the picture? Yup. RS. Well, guess who’s STUPID enough to let him back into the picture with very minimal concern? Yup. ME.
I don’t know what it is about this guy but I’m irrevocably attracted to him. When he first started coming back around I was telling myself that there was no way I was going to get involved with him again and that it was over and done with and yada yada yada…. And then he came over and hung out one night and that was that for me. *SIGH* AGAIN!
We’ve been talking off and on and I have been pretty good about not texting him and letting him be the one to text me, and I’m totally proud of that. I’m usually not like that.
He’s sort of a game player too. Nothing huge but just enough that it’s noticeable and irritating. I suppose it has something to do with the level of comfort boys feel when they first start talking to someone. I don’t know though. I just know that I may be headed for Trouble (also, capital T!) here.
I’ll just have to play this one by ear as well, but I can’t help feeling like I’m setting myself up for a huge fall.
And just a short note to wrap up… I have been thinking about how amazing it is that all the boys that I have met have in some way or another been interested in me. I really didn’t think that was going to be the way of it. I figured that I’d have at least one or two that wouldn’t like what I looked like, or the way I had my hair, or whatever, and wouldn’t be interested at all. I’m wondering what this says 1. about me and 2. about boys in general. Are they desperate, or I am just that fabulous? Hmmmm….. Something to think about… OR NOT! LOL
L8tr!
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sexy Sex, and Saki
So….. Here we are again! Seems like every time I update I have someone new to talk about! :) Maybe I’m getting the “hang” of this dating thing? Either that or I just can’t keep them around long enough! This, now that I’m thinking about it that way, actually suits me just fine, right now.
Updates updates updates!
S and I have not communicated what-so-ever. This bums me out b/s S was very freaking hot and he was the first guy I felt myself being into in more then a “hey wanna do it?” way. Poop. Oh well though. I guess I just gotta keep trying. I’ll certainly have fun doing so!
My date with R was sorta weird. We ended up trying to make it a “group” thing but he said all of his friends already had plans. I invited my friend J along and we all met up at a bar by my house. I had a good time. R and I kissed for the first time. It turns out that I got WAY drunk and wanted to kiss him some more and said so. He claims he’s not into PDA (:() and suggests that we go sit in my truck. Alright, I say, but I’m NOT having sex in my truck!!!! Yeah, that held for about 15 minutes. Yes, I had sex with a random guy in the back of my truck! To come to my own defense though… I tried to invite him back to my house, but L didn’t want company so we really didn’t have anywhere else to go. LOL! Lame I know, but there it is. So we had a short session in the truck and then we ended the date.
R and I get along great and can be sarcastic as hell with each other, but I just don’t click with this guy in anything but a friendly way. The sex wasn’t even that memorable, and I’m talking about doing it in my TRUCK. There is something wrong with that! I’m still talking to him, but keeping my options open.
THEN I stuck my foot in my big mouth! He was out of town for a week doing some stuff and my birthday party was coming up. So I’m teasing him about not being able to come to my party and he pops up with “I think I’ll be back in town my then!” Crap. Crap. Crap. There are guys being invited to my party specifically to meet me. So I decide to be honest and let him know that there will be interested dudes at my party. He seemed OK with it at first, but now I’m not so sure. He’s distant now and he was sorta rude to me when we were on the phone together before the party. I don’t really care all that much, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to, even if my interest is minimal. Bleh.
So S and B were invited to my party. Both are cute. B brought me a bottle of Saki for my birthday. Definite bonus points there for being thoughtful. I was interested in both of them, but B was talking to me more then S was. Then, L decides to try to play match maker and has S and I kiss! So after the horrendous kiss (it flet like he was trying to spear my toungue with his!) and a pow wow with friends, I decided to go for B. He’s cute, but he’s short. He’s got a great body! Nipples pierced and he can screw for hours! Yes, yes, yes. You can always count on me to NOT pass up an opportunity to have sex, if said opportunity is presented.
I’m sort of a whore. I am totally fine with this.
So I gave him my number and we will see where that goes. I’m not too worried about it. What happens happens.
So that's my update for the last 2 weeks. Hopefully next time I update I have more to talk about then just sex in whorish places. :)
Later!
--T
Updates updates updates!
S and I have not communicated what-so-ever. This bums me out b/s S was very freaking hot and he was the first guy I felt myself being into in more then a “hey wanna do it?” way. Poop. Oh well though. I guess I just gotta keep trying. I’ll certainly have fun doing so!
My date with R was sorta weird. We ended up trying to make it a “group” thing but he said all of his friends already had plans. I invited my friend J along and we all met up at a bar by my house. I had a good time. R and I kissed for the first time. It turns out that I got WAY drunk and wanted to kiss him some more and said so. He claims he’s not into PDA (:() and suggests that we go sit in my truck. Alright, I say, but I’m NOT having sex in my truck!!!! Yeah, that held for about 15 minutes. Yes, I had sex with a random guy in the back of my truck! To come to my own defense though… I tried to invite him back to my house, but L didn’t want company so we really didn’t have anywhere else to go. LOL! Lame I know, but there it is. So we had a short session in the truck and then we ended the date.
R and I get along great and can be sarcastic as hell with each other, but I just don’t click with this guy in anything but a friendly way. The sex wasn’t even that memorable, and I’m talking about doing it in my TRUCK. There is something wrong with that! I’m still talking to him, but keeping my options open.
THEN I stuck my foot in my big mouth! He was out of town for a week doing some stuff and my birthday party was coming up. So I’m teasing him about not being able to come to my party and he pops up with “I think I’ll be back in town my then!” Crap. Crap. Crap. There are guys being invited to my party specifically to meet me. So I decide to be honest and let him know that there will be interested dudes at my party. He seemed OK with it at first, but now I’m not so sure. He’s distant now and he was sorta rude to me when we were on the phone together before the party. I don’t really care all that much, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to, even if my interest is minimal. Bleh.
So S and B were invited to my party. Both are cute. B brought me a bottle of Saki for my birthday. Definite bonus points there for being thoughtful. I was interested in both of them, but B was talking to me more then S was. Then, L decides to try to play match maker and has S and I kiss! So after the horrendous kiss (it flet like he was trying to spear my toungue with his!) and a pow wow with friends, I decided to go for B. He’s cute, but he’s short. He’s got a great body! Nipples pierced and he can screw for hours! Yes, yes, yes. You can always count on me to NOT pass up an opportunity to have sex, if said opportunity is presented.
I’m sort of a whore. I am totally fine with this.
So I gave him my number and we will see where that goes. I’m not too worried about it. What happens happens.
So that's my update for the last 2 weeks. Hopefully next time I update I have more to talk about then just sex in whorish places. :)
Later!
--T
Monday, April 13, 2009
Another Fantastic Weekend
Hello! It’s another GLORIOUS Monday. Bleh.
I had an interesting weekend.
Friday I got off work early because of Good Friday. I had sent S a text earlier in the day and called him and left a voice mail asking him to call me back. I get a text around 3 PM saying that he’s out looking for a part time job for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This boy works A LOT. He’s already got 2 jobs and now he’s looking for a third. So, anyway, I told him that I have plans for tonight but that I would like it a lot if he would come over and hang out on Saturday. To which he says, “What time? I have a car show I want to go to.” I said after you are done with that then. I get no response at all. So I figured he was busy, and I’m not going to bother him. Well, I have a starter drink to get ready for my night out* and I decide to send him a little text. I say, um, just a friendly warning I may drunk dial you tonight! LOL!
I get nothing. No response at all. So, after that we don’t text for the rest of the night.
*More on that later! Much to tell you there!
Saturday I sent him a text saying Hey, what’s up? I get a text back about 2 hours later saying that he’s at a car show with friends. At this point I’m sort of fed up with being the one who is always contacting him so I don’t write back. Sunday I get nothing from him either.
So I’m giving up. He had said he doesn’t want to smother me, but this has gone beyond non-smothering into “Hey, I’m just not that into you.” So, later S. Have fun working your 3 jobs! :)
So I’ve started talking to a new guy. R will be his name. (I’m not very creative with the whole anonymity thing. I’m just using the first initial for these dudes. LOL.) R is funny, sarcastic, and just as much of an asshole as I am about certain things. We talked for a good 2 hours on Saturday night and hit it off pretty well. We make a date for next Friday! He sent me a text first thing in the morning on Sunday and we talked off and on all day on Sunday. Seems like we could have something here, but, I am not going to count my chickens before they hatch with this one! I’m reserving judgment for now. I don’t want to be disappointed again.
Alright, back to Friday!
I get home from my pedicure and check my face book page. The girl I am planning on meeting at the bar has invited my Ex-husband to go as well! EVERYONE knows that we have split up b/c douche bag EX has placed a Face Book Bulletin saying so! WHY would she invite him when she KNEW I was planning on going????? WTF! So I sent her a text asking if she knew if he was planning on going. She says no she hasn’t heard anything. So I tell her that is she finds out he’s going to go, please let me know and I will stay home because I really don’t want any weirdness. She says ok.
I get a ride up there later on and walk in to see him sitting there. Crap! Should I stay? Should I go? You know what, I was really looking forward to coming out so I’m going to have a drink and see how it goes. I say hi to everyone and get a drink. It’s awkward, and weird. I go outside to smoke with a couple people and voice my concerns and everyone tells me to stay, it’s no big deal. It’s not weird. So I stayed. I tried to talk to the EX and it was just really awkward, so I decide to leave. I’m standing outside waiting for L to pick me up and he comes out to talk to me. He asks me why I’m leaving. I told him b/c everything is awkward and it’s too soon for us to be hanging out. He gets pissed off at me and starts yelling out our business in front of the bar. I walked away and yelled F you! to him. L picks me up and I start balling. I’m so frustrated at this point it’s really the only thing I can do. We went home, I got even more drunk, threw up, and passed out. Sunday I wake up to a message of Happy Easter from him, and a Face Book friend request. Basically, it’s his stupid way of trying to make up for Friday. PLEASE!
All in all I had a good weekend, but Friday was the bummer. Actually all of last week was pretty effed up.
I am hoping that this week is a better week!
I had an interesting weekend.
Friday I got off work early because of Good Friday. I had sent S a text earlier in the day and called him and left a voice mail asking him to call me back. I get a text around 3 PM saying that he’s out looking for a part time job for Friday, Saturday and Sunday. This boy works A LOT. He’s already got 2 jobs and now he’s looking for a third. So, anyway, I told him that I have plans for tonight but that I would like it a lot if he would come over and hang out on Saturday. To which he says, “What time? I have a car show I want to go to.” I said after you are done with that then. I get no response at all. So I figured he was busy, and I’m not going to bother him. Well, I have a starter drink to get ready for my night out* and I decide to send him a little text. I say, um, just a friendly warning I may drunk dial you tonight! LOL!
I get nothing. No response at all. So, after that we don’t text for the rest of the night.
*More on that later! Much to tell you there!
Saturday I sent him a text saying Hey, what’s up? I get a text back about 2 hours later saying that he’s at a car show with friends. At this point I’m sort of fed up with being the one who is always contacting him so I don’t write back. Sunday I get nothing from him either.
So I’m giving up. He had said he doesn’t want to smother me, but this has gone beyond non-smothering into “Hey, I’m just not that into you.” So, later S. Have fun working your 3 jobs! :)
So I’ve started talking to a new guy. R will be his name. (I’m not very creative with the whole anonymity thing. I’m just using the first initial for these dudes. LOL.) R is funny, sarcastic, and just as much of an asshole as I am about certain things. We talked for a good 2 hours on Saturday night and hit it off pretty well. We make a date for next Friday! He sent me a text first thing in the morning on Sunday and we talked off and on all day on Sunday. Seems like we could have something here, but, I am not going to count my chickens before they hatch with this one! I’m reserving judgment for now. I don’t want to be disappointed again.
Alright, back to Friday!
I get home from my pedicure and check my face book page. The girl I am planning on meeting at the bar has invited my Ex-husband to go as well! EVERYONE knows that we have split up b/c douche bag EX has placed a Face Book Bulletin saying so! WHY would she invite him when she KNEW I was planning on going????? WTF! So I sent her a text asking if she knew if he was planning on going. She says no she hasn’t heard anything. So I tell her that is she finds out he’s going to go, please let me know and I will stay home because I really don’t want any weirdness. She says ok.
I get a ride up there later on and walk in to see him sitting there. Crap! Should I stay? Should I go? You know what, I was really looking forward to coming out so I’m going to have a drink and see how it goes. I say hi to everyone and get a drink. It’s awkward, and weird. I go outside to smoke with a couple people and voice my concerns and everyone tells me to stay, it’s no big deal. It’s not weird. So I stayed. I tried to talk to the EX and it was just really awkward, so I decide to leave. I’m standing outside waiting for L to pick me up and he comes out to talk to me. He asks me why I’m leaving. I told him b/c everything is awkward and it’s too soon for us to be hanging out. He gets pissed off at me and starts yelling out our business in front of the bar. I walked away and yelled F you! to him. L picks me up and I start balling. I’m so frustrated at this point it’s really the only thing I can do. We went home, I got even more drunk, threw up, and passed out. Sunday I wake up to a message of Happy Easter from him, and a Face Book friend request. Basically, it’s his stupid way of trying to make up for Friday. PLEASE!
All in all I had a good weekend, but Friday was the bummer. Actually all of last week was pretty effed up.
I am hoping that this week is a better week!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
All over nothing
Yes I am a stupid girl like I said before, just for different reasons then I stated. My insecurities reared their ugly head yesterday and it turns out it was for no reason whatsoever.
I think all the stresses of the past month caught up to me. The boy and I were getting to a pretty good place with each other and then things changed. Due to circumstances out of our control we got little to no time with each other, and it’s been this way for the past four weeks. Now this situation really mainly only affected him and let me tell you we almost didn’t make it through it. He was stressed which in turn put a strain on things and fights ensued. Add to this drama in the form of my ex and his ex (remember the friend of the ex MIL?) Shit kinda hit the fan.
Well things are getting back to good but I guess not as fast as I thought it would. Which is what led to me being dumb. So I asked if things were okay and they are YAY! BOO for me being dumb and insecure!
Now my ex who will be now referred to as KDB from here on out is DRIVING ME INSANE. Thought I would just throw that out there!
I wish that I could switch places with my boy for like one day. It would be good perspective on how the insane mind of a male works and I would get to pee standing up! I read a jokey email once that was talking about the difference between a male and females thinking when it comes to the same situation and the chick reacted the exact same way that I did when all that was wrong with the dude was his motorcycle was broken! Hit the nail right on the head with that one.
So in any case, I was wondering do guys sometimes feel insecure about this same shit? If so how do they deal with it? If not what do they feel insecure about? Also I am completely losing it or do other chicks have the same issue?
I think all the stresses of the past month caught up to me. The boy and I were getting to a pretty good place with each other and then things changed. Due to circumstances out of our control we got little to no time with each other, and it’s been this way for the past four weeks. Now this situation really mainly only affected him and let me tell you we almost didn’t make it through it. He was stressed which in turn put a strain on things and fights ensued. Add to this drama in the form of my ex and his ex (remember the friend of the ex MIL?) Shit kinda hit the fan.
Well things are getting back to good but I guess not as fast as I thought it would. Which is what led to me being dumb. So I asked if things were okay and they are YAY! BOO for me being dumb and insecure!
Now my ex who will be now referred to as KDB from here on out is DRIVING ME INSANE. Thought I would just throw that out there!
I wish that I could switch places with my boy for like one day. It would be good perspective on how the insane mind of a male works and I would get to pee standing up! I read a jokey email once that was talking about the difference between a male and females thinking when it comes to the same situation and the chick reacted the exact same way that I did when all that was wrong with the dude was his motorcycle was broken! Hit the nail right on the head with that one.
So in any case, I was wondering do guys sometimes feel insecure about this same shit? If so how do they deal with it? If not what do they feel insecure about? Also I am completely losing it or do other chicks have the same issue?
Not the Ulitmate Player I thought he was!!
OK. So, yeah.
In reference to my last post: I AM AN IDIOT.
I went all day yesterday looking for some sign of U.P. just in case. So finally I’m in bed reading and I think to myself, well this really sucks. I think I’ll just text him and say thanks for Friday and that I had fun, and to have a good one. So I did.
..........
I got a text back that said: I was waiting for you to call me after the gym! I guess not! LOL
So I said: What? I was waiting for you to call me! I totally thought you were blowing me off!
He said: No, you are too nice to blow off. I really thought you were going to call me.
YES! I was being an idiot. I am so glad that I decided to text him. I called him right after I got that text back and he said that he thought that I was blowing him off and that he was confused b/c he thought that I was going to call him. He said that he didn’t want to text me all the time so that I would get used to it and bored quickly. He doesn't want to smother me.
In my head I'm saying: *Sigh* Yes, please, smother me, you great big beautiful hunk of a man! PLEASE!
I’m super glad that it was just a silly misunderstanding. So today is a better day.
:)
So now his name changes from U.P. to S
Cause I'm so cool like that.
--- T
In reference to my last post: I AM AN IDIOT.
I went all day yesterday looking for some sign of U.P. just in case. So finally I’m in bed reading and I think to myself, well this really sucks. I think I’ll just text him and say thanks for Friday and that I had fun, and to have a good one. So I did.
..........
I got a text back that said: I was waiting for you to call me after the gym! I guess not! LOL
So I said: What? I was waiting for you to call me! I totally thought you were blowing me off!
He said: No, you are too nice to blow off. I really thought you were going to call me.
YES! I was being an idiot. I am so glad that I decided to text him. I called him right after I got that text back and he said that he thought that I was blowing him off and that he was confused b/c he thought that I was going to call him. He said that he didn’t want to text me all the time so that I would get used to it and bored quickly. He doesn't want to smother me.
In my head I'm saying: *Sigh* Yes, please, smother me, you great big beautiful hunk of a man! PLEASE!
I’m super glad that it was just a silly misunderstanding. So today is a better day.
:)
So now his name changes from U.P. to S
Cause I'm so cool like that.
--- T
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Stupid Girl
I have realized that I am a stupid girl and I really don't like it. I don't like feeling unsure or confused. I don't like obsessing over stupid shit that probably doesn't matter. I don't like over analyzing every little thing. I don't like the games that are always somewhat played. I really don't like feelings of inadequacy. Why can't people just be open and honest about shit. I like to know where I stand with someone cause why waste time? I think I am a pretty secure person until a boy comes into the picture and makes me question EVERYTHING!!!
So I guess that goes to show what kind of mood I am in today!
*I am a super anxious person and tend to get fixated on something and obsess on it a little (okay okay a lot) until it's resolved one way or another. I have never been really good at just speaking my mind, I am working on that though*
So anyway. The other Myspace boy turned out to be quite a surprise to me in a lot of different ways. We texted a bit he asked me to dinner and I accepted. Before we could actually go to dinner though I found out that his ex girlfriend is actually my ex mother in laws friend and used to be my somewhat kinda sorta friend. It was a little weird so I backed out of dinner since who knows if he still talks to this chick and I didn't need anymore baby daddy drama then I already had. One thing led to another and we ended up having lunch and actually hanging out all day. He was hot, funny, and there wasn't all that awkwardness between us. I loved the sarcasm and the back and forth between us was great. So the evening ends as I have other plans and he practically jumps out of my car and runs for it. CONFUSION already. I thought we hit it of but guess not, oh well.
*At this point I am not looking for anything serious, just want to meet some new people, hang out, and have fun. A bumping buddy would have been nice too but I was scared of the penis at the time. Sex with someone new just seemed weird to me. I knew I needed some strange to get me over the hump I just couldn't bring myself to do it yet. You also run the risk of someone always getting feelings or some such shit*
So anyway T and I go out that night to do our thing and my phone is blowing up. We end up picking the boy up and hanging out all night. We hook up it's grand and I think to myself well I finally got some strange whoo hoo! Now I can move on....
Well what was supposed to be just some strange and uncomplicated sex turned into something more. I didn't think we would talk again but we did and we hung out. We hung out every chance we had. We were both still very adamant that we didn't want a relationship, although everyone else saw what was going on between us. After a lot of confusion and some misunderstandings, I finally stepped up and said I want to know where I stand with you, I also finally somehow turned a drunken conversation into a boyfriend. Wow, I actually took control and it paid off, be proud, I am.
So I now have a boyfriend and still have lots of confusion on my part. We have been seeing each other for months and I still question everything and over analyze things to death. This is why I hate being a stupid girl. Although I am very happy with my boy these are reasons I didn't want to get involved with someone....
So I have basically told you why I don't like the "new" relationship status (maybe it's just me and I need to quit being an insecure baby), now I will tell you why I do like the "new"
Newness in itself is great. It's exciting, it's butterflies in your tummy, it's talking for hours and getting to know someone, it's getting a smile everytime they call or text, it's thinking about them all the time (although I read an article that it's related to some kind of chemical thing in the brain), it fun, it's meeting new people, it's feeling that spark, it's a first kiss, a first hug, a first sleepover, it's discovering things they like, it's making them smile, it's making out like teenagers, it's giggling, it's lounging in bed forever and just being, it's finding out what you have in common, it's the warm fuzzies you get when he looks at you. Okay maybe this stuff just pertains to me but I think we are getting past the newness stage and damn if I still don't feel these things.
Cross your fingers for me, this could be a wild ride
------ L
So I guess that goes to show what kind of mood I am in today!
*I am a super anxious person and tend to get fixated on something and obsess on it a little (okay okay a lot) until it's resolved one way or another. I have never been really good at just speaking my mind, I am working on that though*
So anyway. The other Myspace boy turned out to be quite a surprise to me in a lot of different ways. We texted a bit he asked me to dinner and I accepted. Before we could actually go to dinner though I found out that his ex girlfriend is actually my ex mother in laws friend and used to be my somewhat kinda sorta friend. It was a little weird so I backed out of dinner since who knows if he still talks to this chick and I didn't need anymore baby daddy drama then I already had. One thing led to another and we ended up having lunch and actually hanging out all day. He was hot, funny, and there wasn't all that awkwardness between us. I loved the sarcasm and the back and forth between us was great. So the evening ends as I have other plans and he practically jumps out of my car and runs for it. CONFUSION already. I thought we hit it of but guess not, oh well.
*At this point I am not looking for anything serious, just want to meet some new people, hang out, and have fun. A bumping buddy would have been nice too but I was scared of the penis at the time. Sex with someone new just seemed weird to me. I knew I needed some strange to get me over the hump I just couldn't bring myself to do it yet. You also run the risk of someone always getting feelings or some such shit*
So anyway T and I go out that night to do our thing and my phone is blowing up. We end up picking the boy up and hanging out all night. We hook up it's grand and I think to myself well I finally got some strange whoo hoo! Now I can move on....
Well what was supposed to be just some strange and uncomplicated sex turned into something more. I didn't think we would talk again but we did and we hung out. We hung out every chance we had. We were both still very adamant that we didn't want a relationship, although everyone else saw what was going on between us. After a lot of confusion and some misunderstandings, I finally stepped up and said I want to know where I stand with you, I also finally somehow turned a drunken conversation into a boyfriend. Wow, I actually took control and it paid off, be proud, I am.
So I now have a boyfriend and still have lots of confusion on my part. We have been seeing each other for months and I still question everything and over analyze things to death. This is why I hate being a stupid girl. Although I am very happy with my boy these are reasons I didn't want to get involved with someone....
So I have basically told you why I don't like the "new" relationship status (maybe it's just me and I need to quit being an insecure baby), now I will tell you why I do like the "new"
Newness in itself is great. It's exciting, it's butterflies in your tummy, it's talking for hours and getting to know someone, it's getting a smile everytime they call or text, it's thinking about them all the time (although I read an article that it's related to some kind of chemical thing in the brain), it fun, it's meeting new people, it's feeling that spark, it's a first kiss, a first hug, a first sleepover, it's discovering things they like, it's making them smile, it's making out like teenagers, it's giggling, it's lounging in bed forever and just being, it's finding out what you have in common, it's the warm fuzzies you get when he looks at you. Okay maybe this stuff just pertains to me but I think we are getting past the newness stage and damn if I still don't feel these things.
Cross your fingers for me, this could be a wild ride
------ L
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